Today marks the 80th anniversary of one of the greatest underdog stories in history, The Tortoise and the Hare. But this article isn’t about the turtle revolution. No, this article is about the downfall of rabbits in our society. FACT: The average rabbit makes 85 cents to the human’s dollar. FACT: teen-pregnancy in rabbits tripled in the last 5 years. FACT: The major exports of Argentina are meat, wheat, maize, oilseeds, hides, and wool. This may startle many of you but the facts are there, rabbits are being mistreated in today’s world.
Once upon a time humans, rabbits, turtles, wizards, and even Germans lived happily together, but sadly not happily ever after. We all know the tale of how wizards split from the group, to live in peace by themselves. And no one will ever forget the whole German thing. But rabbits, have any of you noticed the decline of rabbit senators in the last two decades? Even Easter, the most cherished bunny day, has lost its popularity in recent years. The simple truth is our society is turning its back on the furry friend.
Bruno Mangilo, most commonly known under his pen name “Bunny Man” discussed the matter of bunny discrimination in his 1986 book Holy Bunny Holy Tales. Sadly, the popularity of the book was overshadowed by the coming of the Teenage Mutant Ninja television series. Nonetheless, Bunny Man made some uncanny predictions of the future, many of which have already occurred. If the Clinton administration would have put more credit in the book they could have helped avoid the horrible rabbit genocide in Australia, which killed at least 15 bunnies to date.
Bunny Man also discussed how the rabbit decline can be totally credited to the great race between the tortoise and the hare. As I have said, today marks the 80th anniversary of that race. For 80 years the cottontail creatures have been slapped with the stick of injustice. Ask any of your friends, the common theory of rabbits is that they are all arrogant ass holes. As a guy who has many friends, that happen to be bunnies, I can tell you most of them are nice. They just want to be considered equals. It is sad that one rabbit has ruined the reputation of an entire species.
This issue has just starting to poke its ears out of the bunny hole, pun definitely intended. In Arkansas, a public speaker would not give a speech on spousal abuse in front of a group of rabbits. Down by the Mississippi, a hotel refused to give rooms to a family of bunnies, claiming that their rooms can’t accommodate a family of furry creatures. But there is photographic proof that Robin Williams and his family stayed there no more than 3 months ago. Stories like these exist all around the globe.
Now I’m not saying that you are all racists. I’m just saying that many of you have preconceived opinions that are not based on reason or actual experiences. We all have to stand up and shout for rabbit rights. I give this challenge to all of you, go out this weekend and befriend a rabbit, you wont be disappointed.