So, about 3 days ago I received a very odd email from someone claiming to be me in the future. I have since read the email about 90 times and still can’t decide if it’s real or not. Below is the email. I have made comments at select spots. Tell me what you think.
Dearest Alex, I do often use dearest when thinking to myself.
Hey man, it’s me, Alex Sherman… from the future. Right off the bat, see, I would have made some lame joke along these lines “Hey man, it’s me, well you, it’s us, or me. It’s me Alex Sherman.” I would have went with some confusing humor.
Now, I know what you’re thinking… where has Alan Thicke been lately? He hasn’t done a film/tv/or late night show appearance in years. I was indeed thinking that, but who doesn’t from time to time?
But don’t you worry, in late 2013 his career reblossoms and he makes a buddy film with Patrick Swayze. Now this one is an oddity to me. Everyone knows that Swayze is dead. I feel a prankster wouldn’t make an easy mistake like that. Either I’m dealing with an idiot, or some medical breakthroughs occur in the coming months. This would also support Thicke’s career reblossoming, how else would it happen?
But let’s not get stuck on Alan Thicke’s career, we have much more important things to discuss. As if.
There is something dire I need to warn you about. It’s your kids Alex, your kids! Now shouldn’t he be saying our kids? My one thought is he felt too much like we were a couple if he referred to them as our kids. Is that incest or just masturbation?
I’m just kidding it has nothing to do with your kids, just making you think of Back to the Future 2. It worked.
No, what happens is you die. You get Dysentery disease and you die, a horrible and painful death that takes about 3 weeks. Is this how I would tell myself? Honestly, I think I’d make some kind of YouTube video with some solid production value and have a little jingle. I don’t think I’d be this abrupt with myself.
I need to stop this, because if you die, then I die. It doesn’t work reverse.
What happens is you are visiting Aspen and you see a school bus of orphans drive off a cliff and into a frozen lake. You jump into action, diving into the lake to rescue the kids, fighting through the bitter cold you save all 92 two abandoned children. Now, This is basically Simon Birch.
Within hours the vomiting and other side effects kick in. Diarrhea.
I plead with you past Alex let the group of 6-12 year olds die. Let them drown pleasantly in the horrifically cold water of Aspen.
Thank you for your time.
xoKISSESxo Gotta admit, future me is kinda cute.
P.S. Don’t bother with AVATAR 2. It’s longer than the first one and has an even thinner plot. Could have guessed this.
OK. So I still have no idea. I mean, I am awesome enough to save a bunch of orphans… but that is basically the ending to Simon Birch. Whoever did write this email is obviously adorable, so that’s check one for it is me. Then again, there are some obvious pop culture mistakes. Even if it’s not me, I want to believe it’s someone from the future. Mainly because I want to see a buddy film starring Alan Thicke and Patrick Swayze.