It Never Rains in K-Mart

Here it is.  The long lost log of my adventure with Brandon Beech as we did the unthinkable and lasted 24 hours in K-Mart.  For the first time in digital form, and online.  All spelling errors and grammar mistakes were kept for historical relativity.  Hopefully this log will inspire you to do something great one day.  Don’t feel pressured, you may never accomplish anything like staying in  a K-Mart for 24 hours, but perhaps you will find something sub-par to do, like raise children or kill John Lennon.

Brandon Beech and Alex Sherman present…

It Never Rains in K-MART

Log 1 (4:03 p.m.)

We’ve been here 2 1/2 hours, no signs of boredom.  Strong ahead.  Stay the course.

Log 2 (5:00 p.m.)

Well, we just bought this log book for 79¢.  Steal of a deal.  So far, 4 guests – Erin, Brittany, Amy & Anna.  Oh, and we saw Ashleigh Jacket.  Slushies here are great.  Attitudes are nothing but positive.  Long live Alex & Brandon.

Log 3 (5:13 p.m.)

KMart’s arcade sucks balls.  Nothing works except for that game from 1970.  Alex got robbed of a dollar on the Adam’s Family pinball machine.  Off to better things…

Log 4 (6:46 p.m.)

Just finished my book for college.  It’s called Enough, and boy, I did have enough of that book.  Tom D. is visiting right now.  Good stuff.  We’re leaving for the aisles now… Until then!

Log 5 (7:15 p.m.)

Chase is here.  Yay!  We’re getting Hungry Howie’s for 50% off later.  Woohoo!  I must go now.  Spread the good word.

Log 6 (7:33 p.m.)

6 hours exactly – and in the 6th log.  How fitting.  Kath should be here soon.  No signs of fading.  Alive and in love – with Mentor KMart.  Until a future time….

P.S. We purchased alertness pills.  Oh, we’re ready for night.

Log 7 (8:15 p.m.)

My mother is here.  Celebration!  Also, Nancy and Rachel are here too, yet we have not seen Nancy; she may be hiding.  Andy stopped in too, just to tell me I owe Hollywood Video $4.25 in late fees.  Blasphemy, if you ask me.  Talk to you in log 8….

Log 8 (9:02 p.m.)

We just ran into the Ogilbees and Elise.  A nice rendevouz.  That’s spelled wrong.  I’m going to shop w/ my mom now.  Alex and I are the fittest to survive this quest.

Live it.

Live it.

Log 9 (10:12 p.m.)

Brian S. and Cassidy are here now.  We saw Leah Hudec too – who would’ve thought?…. Joe, Alex’s brother, is here to challenge us in Ms. Pac Man, so we’re back in the sucky-ass arcade.  Live.  Learn.  Love.  Always.

Log 10 (10:30 p.m.)

Tom D. stopped by again for more love.  Amy’s here too – she brought us Howies – amazing.  Absolutely THRILLED!  Now is when night begins.  Forever Love.

Log 11 (11:07 p.m.)

Log 11 right after 11 – you don’t say!  We’re sitting on a bench near the arcade and Richie Galante is here!  I’m so pleased w/ all the visitors we’ve had.  It may be dark outside but it’s bright in here.  A thousand points of light.

Log 12 (11:16 p.m.)

I know, it’s only been 9 minutes but I had to tell you.  Melinda is here.  Ah, hell yes.  All is good in love and war.

Log 13 (11:33 p.m.)

10 That’s how many hours we’ve been here.  The adventure continues.  Kelsey/Laura are here and that makes me incredibly happy.  Here’s to 14 more hours.  Don’t Stop…. Believing.

Log 14 (12:00 a.m.)

Yay!!  2 reasons for this “yay”:  1:  It is now Kelsey’s B-day, and 2:  we made it to the A.M.  High fives all around.  Livin’ large – and in charge,,,,

Log 15 (12:33 a.m.)

Tom D. is here for the third time.  Casey Sovey is here too.  ‘Nuf said.  Peace and chicken grease….

P.S. And by the way, 11 hours.

Log 16 (1:33 a.m.)

Wow.  That’s right, we are half way there.  I’m immensely proud.  Kelsey/Laura for about 1 1/2 hours, and Tom is still here.  This is historic, momentous, infamous, if you will.  it may be late, but this ship aint sinking’!  Cause there are NO ICEBERGS IN SIGHT!  Full steam ahead….

Log 17 (2:08 a.m.)

Tom’s gone now.  David Tomak, Cory Walsh, and Paul Breedlove just came and went.  I believe we’ve had over 20 guests, which is fantastic.  I love this store.

-Tomorrow never comes, because it’s always today.

Log 18 (3:20 a.m.)

I’m pretty confident that we’re the only ones in the store.  We’ve gotten some strange looks from the night-shifters, but it;s all good, hold on – have to take a pic – okay, back.  I must now go, time to save the world.  The future is now.

Log 19 (4:33 a.m.)

We’ve graced KMart w/ our presence for 15 total hours now.  It’s the equivalent to stepping foot on the moon, except there’s more gravity in KMart…. I think.  Anyways – it never rains in K-Mart.

Log 20 (4:52 a.m.)

Sup, hey it’s me, Alex, well…. Around the World.  Yes the great Daft Punk was sent by the Kmart God.  We danced, oh yes we danced.

Never give up, never surrender!

Log 21 (5:33 a.m.)

16 hours.  Translation – 2/3 of the way there.  I’m not gonna lie, it’s murder out here – war, the trenches are becoming riskier and riskier.  But it’s okay – we’re rebels – real loners.  We will survive, even if that’s the last thing we do (consider that irony).

Log 22 (6:12 a.m.)

It’s light out now.  Final stretch is approaching; we’re rounding third, but the monster still lurks.  We must be wary, for no one knows our outcome – no one but he above.  The Wheel in the sky, it keeps on turnin!

Log 23 (7:33 a.m.)

I’m here at the cafe again, eating a donut.  It’s a new day and we feel as though we’ve been given a New Hope, minus the death star.  6 hours left, and this train will not be derailed.  We are the engine that could.  choo-mother fuckin-choo.

Log 24 (8:44 a.m.)

I’m dead tired now.  But we’ve made it this far, and we won’t give up.  Sleep isn’t yet out of the question; we’ll see how it goes.  Less than 5 hours left.  Had a saladafter the donut sticks.  Skies are blue,

Hooray,

Yahoo.

Log 25 (9:33 a.m.)

20 is the magic number.  This mission is already considered a success.  Now, we just just need to finish it off.  Sitting outside in the garden center now – sun feels great.  4 MORE… HOURS!  Today is a day that will not soon be forgotten.

Log 26 (10:31 a.m.)

God, let us leave.  We’ve been seen by a manager, but while he was acting to remove us, we snuck to the cafe.  So hear we are, listening to a table of old men talking politics.  Interesting.  Alex is trying to sleep.  I look forward to doing the same.  3 is the lucky number….

Log 27 (12:05 p.m.)

Back into P.M. and paranoia has set it at its greatest possible potential.  While hiding in the Alcove, I overheard the electronics guy and another co-worker chat about how we’ve been here since yesterday.  God, please lend us 1 1/2 more hours.  I’m sorry I said the F-word in log 23.

Log 28 (12:33 p.m.)

One remaining hour, and the beat is on.  Hopefully, it’s a matter of 69 minutes now.  Stay classy – and like Kipley says: “Expect the Unexpected.”

Log 29 (1:16 p.m.)

Richie Galante has visited once again, to see us at our finest moment.  17 minutes until “enlightenment.”  So close…. so close.  Reach for the stars, and yo may just fall on the moon, or at least, a K-Mart.

Log 30 (1:33 p.m.)

Well…. we made it.  We’d like to thank family, friends, and visitors.  And ourselves, because we’re awesome.  24 hours, long live Alex and Brandon, and always remember – It Never Rains In K-MART.

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2 responses to “It Never Rains in K-Mart

  1. this is absolutely incredible Alex i remember this night like it was yesterday! can’t believe I visited you guys 3 times hahah i’m so jealous you two did it. THat was awesome.

  2. Pingback: 24 Hours in K-Mart

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